Saying Goodbye To The Boy With The Bread
by ViolaCastalle
Summary: A one shot of what I think the ending of THG (first book) could have been like. Also the first chapter of my ff "I Am No Mockingjay". Not oing to spoil it for you so read it.


**Hi everyone. This is the first chapter of my Hunger Games fanfic "I Am No Mockingjay" but I thought it could also work quite nicely as a one-shot so for those who don't want to read a long fanfic, here is a short example of my writing. If you like it and want to find out more, the full fanfic (currently in progress) can be found on my profile.**

**I don't own any of the characters or The Hunger Games, the belong to Suzanne Collins.**

**I hope you enjoy it! Viola xx**

I slide down from the roof of the Cornucopia, joining Peeta on the dewy green grass. I look at him and he smiles at me. I laugh. _We won! We actually won! _Before I know what is happening, Peeta has me in a body-crushing hug. I nuzzle my face into his shoulder and let the tears squeeze out where no one can see them. But then I pull away. Something's wrong. There's been no fireworks, no "Congratulations! announcement". There hasn't even been a hovercraft to collect us.

"What's wrong?" Peeta asks me, clearly confused.

"I don't know. We should be out of here by now." I explain.

Then comes the Capitol anthem and I sigh in relief. The disembodied voice of Claudius Templesmith booms across the entire arena, but what he says reaches straight to my core and shatters me from the inside out. "Congratulations to the joint Victors of the seventy fourth annual Hunger Games!" I smile, "Is what I would be saying if our earlier change to the rule book had not just been revoked. Only one of you can win, so who will it be? May the odds be ever in your favour." I cry out and fall to the ground, any thought to the pain ringing throughout my body thrown away like an old rag.

"What?! They expect us to kill each other?" Peeta shouts into the ether.

"Yes. Peeta, you have to kill me." I choke out.

Peeta falls to his knees next to me, "Katniss, no. I couldn't do that. I couldn't live knowing that you died in my place."

"Just do it. You're the better person! The one who used love to win."

"But – but – so did you..."

"No, Peeta. I _used _love to win..."

"What do you mean?" And I watch as the penny drops.

"Oh my God... You don't love me? You _never _loved me? After all we went through, all we did together, did that mean nothing to you?"

"No, Peeta -" the tears are falling down his cheeks, making streaks through the dirt and grime, "they did, they _do_, mean something, just not like _that_, I don't think..."

"You don't think? So you don't even know? Katniss, I knew you didn't love me as much as I loved you but, wow, this is an all new low..."

It hurts to say these things to Peeta, and to hear him say worse back, because I do love him. I do, just as a friend and maybe more but I figure the more he hates me the more likely he is to kill me... The logic works really.

"So do it, Peeta. Kill me."

"No, Katniss. I can't."

"Why not? You hate me! Look at how I've hurt you!"

"Yes, you've hurt me, and yes I hate you right now but as soon as that knife falls the hate would dissipate and all I would feel for the rest of my life is endless grief and guilt and love for you. Don't you see, Katniss? My love for you is real, so real, that it can never end, no matter how much you might hurt me, and living without you just isn't even a conceivable possibility. I just couldn't do it. So you have to kill me."

"Peeta, I can't do that."

"Why not?" He's angry. He's standing up and looming over me, shouting, commanding me to just end it, end this pain. But still I can't find it in me to do it.

"Because I can't walk out of here knowing that the better man lost and that I was the reason why. Peeta, I can't kill you."

He sinks back down and looks at me, really looks at me, past my eyes and into my being. He plants a soft kiss on my lips. He pulls away and I see that while his lips his hands were occupied. He has found his discarded knife in the grass. I reach to grab it but he pushes me back.

"We can't kill each other and one of us has to die. There's only one one other way."

"Peeta! NO!" I scream, renewed tears leaving more tracks down my face.

"Goodbye, Katniss. I love you forever and always."

He looks into my eyes as the knife plunges into his chest and he falls to the ground, staring at the fake sky and the fake clouds and the fake dawn, always staring, never blinking. BOOM.

I fall on top of him, my face hitting his silent, bloody chest.

Somewhere in the distance is the faint voice of Claudius Templesmith as he calls out "Congratulations Katniss Everdeen! The Victor of the seventy fourth annual Hunger Games!"

I scream into Peeta's chest and pound the grass with my fist. Then the sobs come, long heavy sobs filled with profanities and curses.

I vaguely hear a buzzing sound and look up, up, up to the distant blue. A hovercraft has dropped a ladder down to me and I reach up to it, grasping a hold of Peeta's wrist with my free hand. As soon as I touch the rung of the ladder I am frozen, unable to move. But that doesn't stop Peeta's arm slipping out of my grasp. The way I'm standing forces me to watch as Peeta's body descends further and further away until I can't see it anymore.

Another wave of grief washes over me as I realise that this is the last time I will ever see Peeta Mellark.


End file.
